Christmas Santa Jokes
Funny Santa Jokes For Christmas
Q: Why does Santa Claus put coal in the stockings of bad little boys and girls?
A: Because heating oil would leak out the bottom!
Q: What nationality is Santa Claus?
A: North Polish!
Q: Why did Santa Claus take his Christmas tree to the dentist?
A: To get a root canal!
Q: Why is Santa just like the guy at the office?
A: You do all the work and the fat, funny guy with the suit gets all the credit!
Q: Why does Santa’s sled get such good mileage?
A: Because it has long-distance runners on each side!
Q: Why does Santa love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
A: Because of the free light!
Q: Why does Santa wear pink underwear?
A: He’s a simple man. He did all his laundry load at the same time!
Q: What does Santa eat for breakfast on Christmas mornings?
A: The slowest reindeer!
Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Q: What is red, white and yellow, red, white and yellow rolling down a hill?
A: Santa that just slipped on a banana peel!
Q: What do you get when you cross Santa with a vampire?
A: A big red happy night stalking, blood sucking gift giver!
Q: Why is Santa always happy and jolly?
A: To help his workers with low elf esteem!
Q: What is a big as Santa but weighs less than a feather?
A: Santa’s shadow!
Q: What did Santa Claus say to all the toys on Christmas Eve?
A: “Okay everybody! Time to hit the sack!”
Q: Where does Santa go to vote?
A: The North Poll!
Q: Why won’t Santa eat Twinkies?
A: He would rather eat Ho-Hos!
Q: What is red and white and black all over?
A: Santa Claus covered in ashes!
Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A: So he can ho-ho-ho!
Q: What do you call Santa’s Helpers?
A: Subordinate Clauses!
Q: What do you do if Santa Claus gets stuck in your chimney?
A: Pour Santa flush on him!
Q: Where does Santa hide his gift to Mrs. Claus?
A: The Clauset of course!
Q: Who delivers presents to dentist offices?
A: Santa Jaws!
Q: Santa Claus is a Jolly fellow?
A: Imagine all that driving and still being able to say “Ho! Ho! Ho!”
Q: What do you call Saint Nick after he has come down the chimney?
A: Cinder Claus!
Q: What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?
A: Crisp Kringle!
Q: Why did the Santa cross the road?
A: Because he had a present for the chicken!
Q: Who is Santa Claus married to?
A: Mary Christmas!
Q: What type of Shoes does Santa wear when he travels on a train?
Q: Where do Santa and Mrs. Claus go to dance?
A: At the Christmas Ball!
Q: What did Santa say to the smoker?
A: Please don’t smoke, it’s bad for my elf!
Q: What goes Ho Ho Whoosh, Ho Ho Whoosh?
A: Santa going through a revolving door!
Q: What does Santa do with fat elves?
A: He sends them to an Elf centre!
Q: What did the ocean say to Santa?
A: Nothing! It just waved!
Q: What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective?
A: Santa Clues!
Q: Why do families get get together on Christmas?
A: It’s a very Santamental time!
Q: And what goes oh! oh! oh?
A: Father Christmas walking backwards!
Q: What’s red & white and red & white and red & white?
A: Santa rolling down a hill!
Q: What do you call Santa when he has no money?
A: Saint “Nickel”-less!
Q: What do you get if you cross Santa with a flying saucer?
A: A UF ho, ho, ho!
Q: Where does Santa stay when he’s on holidays?
A: At a Ho-ho-tel!
Q: What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
A: A Holly Davidson!
Q: What do you call Father Christmas in the beach?
A: Sandy Clause!
Q: What do you call someone who doesn’t believe in Father Christmas?
A: A rebel without a Claus!
Q: Who delivers presents to cats?
A: Santa Paws!
Q: What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A: A Christmas Quacker!
Q: What do the reindeer sing to Santa on his birthday?
A: For freeze a jolly good fellow!
Q: What’s Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents?
A: Santa pause!
Q: What does Santa Claus say after winning a saucepan in a competition?
A: “Now thats what you call pot luck!”
Q: Why is Santa Claus so happy?
A: He only works one day of the year!
Q: Who was the first to outsource there brand?
A: Santa Claus!