Christmas Elf Jokes

Christmas Elf Jokes

Funny Elf Jokes For The Christmas Holidays

Q: What did the dying elf say?
A: I only have a little time elft!

Q: Santa rides in a sleigh. What do elves ride in?
A: Mini vans!

Q: How do elves greet each other?
A: “Small world, isn’t it?”

Q: What do many elves die of?
A: Small pox!

Q: What do elves sing to Santa?
A: For Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow!

Q: Why the turkey was asked to join the band by elves?
A: Because he had the drum sticks!

Q: What nerve is used to sense elves?
A: The Elfactory Nerve!

Q: Why does Santa owe everything to the elves?
A: Because he is an elf-made man!

Q: Why don’t elves read long books?
A: They like short stories better!

Q: Elves make sandwiches with what type of bread?
A: shortbread of course!

Q: What’s another name for Santa’s helpers?
A: Subordinate clauses!

Q: Why do all elves look alike?
A: Because there is little difference between them!

Q: What did Santa say to the elf?
A: Don’t be little yourself!

Q: How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Eleven!
A: One to change the light bulb and ten to stand on each other’s shoulders!

Q: Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor?
A: Because he had low “elf” esteem!

Q: Why do elves make great house guests?
A: They only stay for a short time!

Q: If there were 11 elves, and another one came along, what would he be?
A: The twelf!

Q: Why do elves work for Santa?
A: Because he is a jolly fellow!

Q: Where do you find elves?
A: Depends where you left them!

Q: How did the little elf beat up the snowman?
A: Kick him in the balls!

Q: Why did Santa tell off one of his elves?
A: Because he was goblin his Christmas dinner!

Q: What do elves like to start?
A: A small businesses!

Q: What do you call an Elf going backwards?
A: A Fle!

Q: What is an elf, who is about to retire, called?
A: A short timer!

Q: Who lives at the North Pole, makes toys and rides around in a pumpkin?
A: Cinder-”elf”-a!

Q: What kind of Christmas music do elves like best?
A: “Wrap it up” music!

Q: What is an elf’s favorite sport?
A: Miniature golf!

Q: What do elves write on Christmas cards?
A: Have a fairy happy Christmas!

Q: What is the favorite food of elves?
A: “Elf”-aghetti!

Q: What kind of money do elves use?
A: Jingle bills!

Q: What is an elf’s favorite food?
A: Shrimp!

Q: Why did the elf have to buy a new TV?
A: The other one kept shortening out!

Q: How do you describe a rich elf?
A: Welfy!

Q: What do you call a wound that is caused by being stabbed by an Elf?
A: It’s Elf-Inflicted!

Q: What is big, green and packs a trunk?
A: An Elfephant!

Q: Who sings “Blue Christmas” and makes toy guitars?
A: Elfis!

Q: What do you call an elf who tells silly jokes?
A: A real Christmas Card!

Q: Why did the elf flunk out of school?
A: He had a short attention span!

Q: What is an elf’s favorite desert?
A: Short Cake!

Q: Why was the el’fs sled repossessed?
A: He was a little behind on his payments!

Q: Why do elves scratch themselves?
A: Because they’re the only ones who know where its itchy!

Q: What is a female elf called?
A: A shelf!

Q: How long should an elf’s legs be?
A: Just long enough to reach the ground!

Q: What do they call a wild elf in Wyoming?
A: Gnome on the range!

Q: How did elves climbed up to the top of Santa’s Castle?
A: Using an “Elf”-evator!

Q: Why did the elf put his bed into the fireplace?
A: He wanted to sleep like a log!

Q: Why reindeer wears sunglass during Christmas party?
A: Because he didn’t want to be recognized!

Q: What do elves do on holidays?
A: Take short vacations!

Q: When will an elf arrive?
A: He will arrive shortly!

Q: What is an elf’s favorite Christmas Carol?
A: Have yourself a merry, little Christmas!

Q: Why does no elf name being with S?
A: Then he would be Selfish!

Q: What is an elf’s favorite book?
A: Little Women!

Q: What is an elf’s favorite children’s book?
A: Stuart Little!

Q: What is an elf’s other job?
A: Short order cook!

Q: Why was the elf mad?
A: Santa shorted him on his paycheck!

Q: Why do elves make terrible stockbrokers?
A: They always want to sell short!

Q: Why do elves like Ken Dolls?
A: They can share clothes!

Q: Why couldn’t the elf pay rent?
A: He was a little short this month!